


Selcouth

by Nearly_Headless_Niki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26588809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nearly_Headless_Niki/pseuds/Nearly_Headless_Niki
Summary: Victoria had never dreamed of being in the Survey Corps as a child. She had no delusions of taking back the outside world. In fact, she'd been the first to call her fellow trainee's out on their stupidity when they expressed wanting to join. But after six years in the Military Police, she has nothing to lose.
Relationships: Levi & Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Trigger Warning: This prologue contains strong language, and an overview depiction of rape. 

Selcouth

Prologue: To Begin Again

* * *

_Year 844_

The heels of her boots clicked against the tile floor as she walked toward her objective. On a good day, the sound would echo ominously through the quiet corridors of the castle, which were otherwise consumed with silence. Today, however, it was busier than usual. A select few of the Survey Corps members were staying in the castle to attend meetings. It wasn’t them mucking about, every time she so much as caught a glimpse of the Wings of Freedom cloak it was bustling away. The two young officers lunging about chattering as she turned the corner were Military Police. You’d think they’d at least pretend to be busy – they were bringing shame to their regiment.

She curled her lip as she approached them, not failing to notice one of the men blushing when he saw her. He straightened, pulling his fist into a hasty salute while the other one blinked dumbly, pale as a goddamn ghost. She snapped at them to get back to work as she passed and listened to them scurry away while she continued walking. A thick stack of paper was clutched in her vice grip; her fingers struggled not to crumple them. It didn’t take long for her to reach her destination and wrench open the door to her office.

Her bad mood spilled into the otherwise unoccupied room like a tidal wave, the door banging to a close as she approached the chair behind her desk and fell into it. She slapped the paperwork onto her otherwise clear desk, fishing a pen from its holder, and beginning the infuriating task of writing up an incident report. _Fucking amateur, good for nothing, spoiled, self-centered, piece of shit._ The so-called elite members of the Military Police were rarely held accountable for their actions, but she would personally ensure that this fucker would.

Her lip curled again as she was forced to recalled and record, with perfect detail, the faint sobbing that had led her into that back alley. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh. _The fucking blood._ She’d torn the soldier off the civilian so quickly he’d been too dazed to realize his dick wasn’t still in her. Seconds later she’d lodged her boot into his ribs, and then into his face. She smashed it in again and again until she as sure he’d never be able coax another young girl into a back alley.

She would have killed him had the quiet, heart wrenching weeping not broken her out of her stupor. She huddled close to the terrified woman, saying “Hey, it’s over now. I’m going to get you help okay?” the upper portion of her shirt had been shredded and was soaked in blood. She reached out to haul the woman up, and a wild gleam overtook those foggy eyes.

Victoria jerked back, hard pressed not to lose an eye as fingernails snatched toward her face, raking down her chest like claws. But any fight that may have ensued was over before it began. The woman’s eyes had zeroed in on her breasts, and it seemed, although she didn’t know Victoria, she knew she didn’t have a penis and for the moment that was all that mattered. Victoria hauled her up against the wall, secured her trousers into place, and lifted her as gently as she could.

She didn’t want to leave the woman with the medic, so she held her hand and rubbed soothing circles into the back of her palm as her more superficial wounds were examined. The top half of her shirt had damn near been carved off her, skin along with it. _Fucking sadist. Fucking monster._

She tried to leave as the medic gently brought up a vaginal examination, but the woman wouldn’t let her. Her knuckles were white as she clung to her, and Victoria found herself cocooned around the other woman, humming and soothing her hair.

She’d rip the bastard limb from limb if she ever saw him again.

After the incident report was finished, it didn’t take her long to plow through her transfer request. She was beyond fucking done. She’d been done for a while now, and this had just been another catalyst.

Victoria had always regretted the branch she had chosen on her graduation day. At the time, she thought joining the Military Police was the highest honor. She could protect the king, keep the people safe from criminals, and move her family to Wall Sina. She wanted to be someone, stand for something, and the idea of sitting on the wall all day as a Garrison solider, or throwing her life away to be Titan fodder in the Survey Corps hadn’t appealed to her.

Things changed when she arrived. They stripped her of her vertical maneuvering gear and shoved a gun in her hands. Most of the officers lounged around drinking all day or engaging in criminal activity of some kind. They were rude and laughed themselves to tears when she, the rookie, demanded they get back to work. Complaints to her superior officer were met with careful rerouting, and she found herself written up for ‘harassing’ her fellow officers.

Before her first year was up, she felt hopeless, and filled her first transfer request. Maybe joining the Survey Corps meant giving her life, but at least she could take a few Titans before she went. Her request was fruitless however, and she soon found herself reporting to Commander Nile Dok, who tried to reason with her with compliments, then began to demean her, and finally guilt tripped her when all else failed. She remembered his lip curling as he asked if she had lost her goddamn mind.

For the next four years it was a yearly request, and she found a quiet routine in the relatively hostile meetings she shared with her Commander each year. Several months after the fourth meeting, she had been promoted to Squad Leader and given a team of cadets to watch over. She tried to keep them on the straight and narrow, and found herself busy enough with her new position that she had failed to file a transfer her fifth year.

She had never received a response from the Survey Corps regarding her transfer requests, and this time she decided she’d deliver it to their Commander personally.

Hours later, after her duties for the day were complete, she steeled herself as she knocked on his door.

“State your name and business.” A sharp voice snapped.

It’s now or never. “Captain Victoria Ashford of the Military Police sir. I’ve come to deliver a document, sir.”

“Come in then.” The voice snapped impatiently.

She pushed the heavy oak door open, her transfer request tucked neatly into the folder in her left hand. Victoria hadn’t personally interacted with Commander Keith Shadis, but she remembered the speech he’d delivered on her graduation day. He was an intimidating man. The Commander sat stiffly behind his temporary desk; dark, hollowed eyes boring into her form. Two men were moving from in front of his desk to the side, seemingly having been discussing business prior to her interruption. The first was tall and blond, his gaze was solemn, but not eerie. The second man was short, his black hair sported an undercut. The glare on his face rivaled the Commander’s.

She didn’t look at either of them as she handed the folder to the Commander. She pressed her hands into a fist behind her back, and briefly contemplated leaving, but the Commander had already opened the folder, briefly assessed it, and his eyes were back on her by the time he’d slapped the folder back on the desk.

“Victoria Ashford huh? I remember you.” He snorted, rising from his seat. “Graduate class of 93rd Training Corps; ranked 1st.” he’d rounded his desk and now stood far too close for comfort. He towered over her, and Victoria jerked her chin up to meet his gaze, “You weren’t completely useless, until you signed your life away to the Military Police.”

Despite herself, she stiffened. He wasn’t wrong, but it bothered her more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t respond to the jab.

His lip curled into a deep frown. “You’ve been sitting pretty in the inner wall for six years _Squad Leader._ What fucking use would the Scouts have for you? Have you used the omni-dimensional maneuver gear since you graduated?” his tone was condescending, and she couldn’t blame him for reaching the conclusion that she hadn’t. She had to throw her weight around to get the higher ups to authorize her to use it.

“Last week, sir.”

“I’m surprised you remember how to use the gear maggot.”

Maybe she was wrong to come here. Maybe he had never responded to her transfer requests because he truly found her so worthless, he was unwilling to use her to fight for humanity. “I wasn’t sure if my transfer requests would go through sir. I haven’t wanted to be out of practice.”

Her response only seemed to piss him off more. “Requests? This isn’t the first?”

“No, sir.”

“How many?”

“This is the fifth, sir. I was too busy to file last year.” 

“Fucking bastards.” He seethed, “I’ve never had a transfer request from the goddamn Military Police land on my desk.”

Victoria wasn’t truly surprised to hear this; Commander Dok had written her up for insubordination after the last time they had discussed her transferring. That was shortly before he promoted her.

Commander Shadis took a step away from her, mindfully picking up the folder and reading through the request. It mainly detailed what her responsibilities had entailed the past several years, any special skills she had to offer, all additional training she received outside of the Training Corps, and details of her write ups.

“Looks like you were recently written up for assaulting another officer. You want to explain that?”

“I caught him with his dick in an unwilling civilian sir, he’s lucky to be breathing.”

“You have a harassment write up from three years ago.”

“You’ll find several more of those, and more assault write ups, sir. I have a low tolerance for criminal behavior amongst my peers.” 

“Interesting; are many of your fellow officers’ criminals Ashford?”

She hesitated, knowing it was a bad idea to answer honestly, then cleared her throat said it anyway, “Yes, sir.”

He didn’t respond to that, instead opting to continue combing the file. She tried to hide her nervousness. Victoria understood that she had about as bad of a record of write ups for insubordination and assault as she could get in the Military Police. Her Commander didn’t mind the criminal behavior in their ranks, but when she brought it to his attention, he had little choice but to confront the guilty party. The write ups she received were little more than a warning not to mention it again.

The folder slapped back down on the desk, and he clasped his hands as his elbows pushed into the desk, “I’ll bite. Why the fuck do you want to transfer Ashford?”

She swallowed hard, “Permission to speak freely sir?”

“Why the hell not,” he snorted. “Go on Ashford, before I change my mind.”

“I’m wasted here, sir. I’ve been here six years and I can count on one hand the amount of times something I did had an impact.” She paused, pushed down the fury that briefly resurfaced when she remembered pulling Cadet Jack Turner off the civilian that morning. Commander Shadis’s hollowed eyes were boring into hers, and she chose her next words carefully, “I’ll admit that my skills have diminished here, but I want to be useful to humanity. I’m willing to do anything sir.”

He didn’t respond, but she continued to meet his gaze. Maybe she’d chosen the wrong words. Did she sound too selfish? It was a selfish request, she knew. _Make me useful. I hate being so fucking worthless._

“Well, Smith? You want to weigh in on this?” he didn’t look away as he asked, but Victoria found herself glancing at the other men. She wasn’t sure which he was addressing.

The tall blond stepped forward, gesturing with his hand for the folder. “May I?” after it was handed to him, he flipped through it quietly. She waited in silence for him to finish, keeping in mind the number of pages he’d flipped through in order to remember where he was, and what he might ask about.

“Is it true that you have a perfect recall?”

“Yes sir.”

Smith, whose title was still unknown, shared a meaningful glance with the Commander, whose expression was hostile at best, “We’ll consider it; dismissed Ashford.”

“Yes, sir.”


	2. I

Three days passed with no word. Victoria’s duties kept her busy, but there was still far too much free time to think about the meeting she had with Commander Shadis. She mulled over her words, thinking of the things she should have said instead – and _kicking_ herself over the things she shouldn’t have. She’d confessed to being aware of criminal behavior within the Military Police to the _Commander_ of the Scout Regiment _._ If Commander Dok found out, she’d be dishonorably discharged.

Dwelling on these things would do her no good, so she preferred to busy herself with more mundane things, such as cleaning. Her office and the private quarters attached to them were relatively small, and she kept them tidy enough. But in avoidance of her thoughts, she realized it had certainly been a long time since the floor had been polished and buffed. A bug had managed to splatter onto the outside of the window. It was unbecoming. When was the last time she’d dusted the tops of the bookcases? Damn it all if the walls weren’t spotted with dirt.

On the morning of the fourth day, she was only a quarter of the way done with the walls when her squad flounced into her office. She had four of the damn nuisances. Vincent Bird and Kristina Morrison had been her first cadets. Vincent, her now lieutenant, was tall and burly, and, at first glance appeared relatively quiet. That said it hadn’t taken long for her to coax him out of his shell, and she quickly found that he was a jokester.

As she removed her attention from viscously scrubbing a particularly difficult stain, and glanced up at them, she noticed he seemed the most amused. Damn bastard.

Kristina stood beside him. The two were close, having spent a year with only each other and their Captain before the addition of Eugen Giles, and Gabriel Kroeger last year. The woman was a small titan, eclipsing Vincent’s height, with strong arms. She excelled at hand to hand, making her well suited for the Military Police. Kristina was eyeing her crouched form, probably having assessed that Vincent amusement wasn’t the proper response for this situation and wondering if she had an excuse to leave.

“Something funny Lieutenant?”

He looked away, in her opinion working more to swallow his smile than he had on their last three missions. Fucking prick. “No ma’am.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Captain.”

Her eyes narrowed into slits. A throat cleared, and green eyes locked with blue. Gabriel Kroeger. He had a disarming smile painted on his chiseled features and stood beside Kristina. She dwarfed him. Gabriel was better at tactics than fighting, and she was certain without that brain he wouldn’t have had the rank to make it into the Military Police. He functioned as the peacemaker of their little unit. “Looks like you’re having a productive morning Captain,” he cheerfully declared, cutting across Kristina to not-so-subtly elbow Vincent in the side. “We got you a little something, didn’t we Kristina?”

Kristina deadpanned, and a steaming cup, looking more like a plaything in her hands than anything else, was pushed forward. “Here you are Captain. Two sugars just how you like it.”

Eugen Giles, who up until this point had preferred to linger in the background, pushed his way between Gabriel and Kristina. He was shorter than the other members of her squad, and stuck out like a sore thumb with his platinum blond hair. He looked properly offended, and Victoria almost felt bad for her band of buffoons. “The Captain doesn’t take sugar.” Bingo.

The next thing she knew, chaos had erupted. Now that it had been pointed out, the others were all sure that she took her coffee black, and _who the fuck had been responsible for this_.

No one was taking credit.

Victoria sighed, strolling to the wash bucket beside her desk. She dropped the rag into it with a slap, and her squad stopped talking. She was fairly certain they’d stopped breathing as she took the little mug, an average to large sized mug in her hands, from Kristina. She sipped it. “It’s not shit.”

She sat down heavily behind her desk as they calmed themselves and lined up in front of her. “Alright everyone, it’s been eight days since the Dreyfus girls went missing. Every day that passes it becomes less likely that we’ll find them. Any ideas?”

Eugen cleared his throat, “Well we’ve already scanned the Southern district, as well as the Eastern, but those areas are crawling with Military Police. They won’t be getting out in those districts anytime soon. The Western district has been pretty quiet through all of this, so it’s a possibility that they could be there, but the officials from the Northern district have clammed up. They won’t even talk to us.”

“If I were kidnapping kids with elite parents, I wouldn’t take them out of the city.” argued Gabriel, “Everyone’s looking for them.”

“We’ve had eyes on the entrance to the Underground for days.”

“The Dreyfus manor was crawling with armed guards. The kidnappers took most of them out without raising a fuss; Mr. Dreyfus didn’t even notice his daughters were missing until _the next morning_. Nothing was missing or out of place. There’ve been no ransom attempts. The kidnappers are organized.” He paused, “I find it likely that they’re hiding out somewhere waiting for the commotion to die down so they can slip into the Underground unnoticed.”

“Northern district?”

“It’s a possibility, the officials there have a history of not working with us. I’m guessing they know a little more about their organized crime than they’re letting on.”

Victoria sighed, holding the cup between her hands, “The thugs from the Underground usually hit the Northern and Western districts harder because the above ground mafia syndicate operates more out of those districts. Gabriel, take Kristina and interview the parents again. Try to find out if they have any connection to the mafia.” She paused, “Just be smart about it. If they do have connections and they catch a whiff of what you’re up to, you’re dead.”

“Yes, Captain.”

She continued her orders as the two backed out. “Vincent, go survey the Northern district. You have any trouble; I want you to pull in another squad-”

The door burst open, and in came a young, wide-eyed recruit, panting. There was a set of vertical maneuvering gears and blades in his shaking hands, “C-Captain. There’s… s-shooter... Commander… orders…” 

Victoria met him halfway and snatched the gear from his hands. The kid was having a panic attack. “Breath soldier; in and out. Count to three, there you go.” She soothed as she slipped into the harness. She tightened the straps meticulously, trying to be fast, “What are the Commander’s orders?”

“You have permission to shoot on sight. The shooter has omni-dimensional gear.”

 _How?_ “Do we have a profile on the shooter?”

“He’s one of us Captain. He must have gotten authorization to use the vertical maneuvering gear this morning, and… he-he’s only shooting soldiers.”

“Where’s he shooting?”

“Southern district Captain.”

She finished strapping the blades to her sides. “Alright Cadet go report to the Commander and request backup. My squad is otherwise involved. Eugen, go see if Captain Hewitt has any squad members available to go with you to the Western district. If he doesn’t, I want you to report to him for standing orders, understood?”

“Yes, Captain.”

After one last check to make sure everything was situated, she popped the window open. Her office was on the third floor, facing toward the south side of Mitras.

She climbed out, and sat on the roof with her legs lifted, allowing for a messy slide down. As she neared the edge, she slammed her boots down, rocketing her upper body forward and digging her hooks into the next roof.

She used gas to propel herself forward, latching on to the edge of the roof to swing her around and snap her forward, and the hooks sank into the next roof. Even from far away, she could hear the gunshots and screams. The shooter must have been engaging other Military Police in the area.

As the sounds grew louder, she contemplated finding a vantage point, but decided against it. Instead, she dropped to the ground, rolling on her shoulder to soften the blow and continued forward on foot. She was sure he knew someone could be coming.

He was shouting at someone. She stopped running and crept forward to peek out. He wore the standard military uniform, and the cadet had been correct: he had omni-dimensional gear. He didn’t have blades, but the gun was threatening enough. Bodies littered the area around him, from the clothes, they weren’t all military personnel.

There was a faint sound behind her, so soft she almost didn’t hear; like a pebble gently rolling across the cobblestone. _Tzing!_ She ducked, rolling across the alley and pulling out a blade, her other hand stayed under her cloak, pressed against her gun. The opponent, another soldier, pulled his blade free of the brick building and gave a battle cry as he lunged for her.

Bang!

He dropped and she took to the air, zigzagging down the alley as shots rang out behind her. She took a sharp corner on a one-story building, and then used it to launch herself down the street, using more gas and reeling in her lines to force another swinging, sharp turn. She heard hooks digging into buildings behind her, but she was losing him.

Seeing a three-story building approaching she glanced behind her, he was five buildings back, and she was gaining distance. She dug her hooks into the building and forced another sharp turn, her momentum carrying her to the end of the building in seconds. She forced her hooks into the building across the street and used it as leverage to whip around. She barely had time to focus her direction as she launched forward, crashing through the window and landing in a roll.

She took off running, ignoring the shouting people inside and unsheathed her blades. It didn’t take her long to run across the building and come crashing out on the other side. Her pursuer, still hooking buildings on the first floor, snapped his head up at the noise. He couldn’t stop himself, and his momentum carried him right into her pathway. She swung the blade down, catching his head and back. Then she sank her hooks into the roof across the street.

She heard his body hit the ground hard. Her feet hit the ground painfully and she gritted her teeth, stalking toward him. Blood pooled around him, and one of his arms was twisted inhumanely. She ignored it, roughly pulling the heavy man onto his back and digging her blade into his throat. He was unmoving, eyes staring into nothing.

Victoria curled her lip, shoving his cloak to the side to reveal his name patch. The name _Lukas Smith_ was neatly sown into it, the unicorn sigil proudly displayed beneath. How fucking disgraceful. She balled up the fabric and cut it off. She refrained from spitting on his corpse and left him there.

It took a while to backtrack to the alley where she’d killed his comrade, but once she did, she took his patch too. _Josiah Snyder._ Collecting the victims’ patches wasn’t as easy. They’d left a trail of bodies behind them, a dozen military.

The backup she had requested never came. Weren’t they going to send anyone? _All these people died, I haven’t made it back, and the Commander hasn’t done anything?_ She was seething by the time she had finished and trudged up to the Commander’s office. It was getting dark. 

She banged on the door, tired and annoyed.

“Who is it?”

“Squad Leader Victoria Ashford sir.”

“Come in Ashford.”

She didn’t have the station to demand answers from him. She bit back her hostility and put the patches on his desk. “These are the victims. These are the perpetrators.”

Commander Dok looked tired. His gaze was intent upon the patches, but Victoria wasn’t sure he was seeing them. “You’re uninjured?”

“Yes, sir.” She paused, “If I may ask sir, why did reinforcements never arrive?”

“I allowed the Scouts to take head on this mission.”

And then he explained. There had been more than just the two shooters she dealt with. One had appeared in the Western district, another in the Northern, and two had broken out from different location in the Eastern. He allowed the Scout Regiment to take the lead because they had more experience with omni-dimensional gear.

So far, two people had come forward saying that the person that bore the name on the patch, was not the one inside the uniform.

Victoria was happy to be dismissed at the end of it.

The halls were quiet on her way back to her quarters, only murmurs here and there and fast footsteps to remind her there were other around. No one was milling about after today. In the Southern district, a dozen soldiers had been massacred. _How many died in the other districts?_ Vincent was in the northern district; Eugen was in the west. Were they okay?

It left a heavy knot in her stomach.

A wave of exhaustion hit her as she locked the door to her office, and she wasted no time shutting herself in her private quarters and getting ready to sleep. She was asleep by the time her head hit the pillow.


	3. II

When she woke up the next morning, she felt like a different person than the one that fell asleep. The bed beside her was cold. It took more effort to haul herself up and getting ready for the day felt hollow. Unimportant _._ The military police had strict codes of hygiene though, and Victoria had always been a stickler for the rules.

She combed through her silky hair, feeling dazed as she stared into the green eyes in the mirror. They looked dull. _Josephine Grady, Adeline Holt, Benjamin Rees, Matthias Sanders, Malorie Barton-_ Her throat suddenly felt tight and she swallowed hard, looking away. She deftly organized her brunette hair into a falling braid, sparing a glance at the mirror only to make sure it was neat.

She struggled to button her shirt and, with a start, realized her hands were shaking. They hadn’t been a moment ago. She stared at them like something foreign, crumpling them into fists and flexing them a few times. When the shaking didn’t stop, she forced the buttons through the holes anyway. _Get a grip Ashford._

After fully dressing, she slipped a delicate silver band onto her finger, rolling it a few times while staring at it. God, she wanted to cry today. All these unpleasant thoughts first thing in the morning couldn’t be good for anyone.

Sometimes, her ‘perfect’ memory was a good thing. Even as a cadet, she was often the first her Captain came to for knowledge, and he’d usually send her scampering away to find the answer if she didn’t already have it. Her memory was likely the only reason she was promoted, despite defying orders to look the other way when other officers committed petty crimes.

Most of the time though, it was just a pain. She didn’t want to remember their corpses so clearly. Did normal people remember them this clearly? A recreation so precise, that not a drop of blood was out of place? Were they able to slowly forget, or did the images become more morbid as time passed?

That day, nothing felt right. The walk to her office was wrong. The chair was wrong. She kept fidgeting behind her desk. It felt wrong to write the incident report… how much detail was too much detail?

She told them that Adeline Holt was likely the first victim, having been the only one shot on the back. Matthias Sanders was unarmed; he hadn’t even put on his holster that morning. Josephine Grady had her eyes cut out by that prick with the sword, though it was highly improbable that had happened before he slit her throat. She was trained military after all. There wasn’t bruising or markings on her wrists to indicate she was held captive before her death but –

“Fuck.”

It was too early in the morning for this shit. Not to mention, her squad hadn’t arrived yet and she still had no idea if Vincent and Eugen were safe. It was difficult to process that they might not be. Just yesterday morning... 

_Vincent struggling to swallow his smile, bright eyes alive with mischief. “Something funny Lieutenant?”_

_Eugen pushing his way between Gabriel and Kristina, looking properly offended. She almost felt bad for them. “The Captain doesn’t take sugar.”_

The queasy knot in her stomach hadn’t unraveled, and she doubted it would until she knew the buffoons made it out. Captain Hewitt hadn’t arrived yet either and that handsome fucking bastard never showed up after the ass crack of dawn. Where the fuck was he yesterday?

“Just breathe Ashford.” She muttered to herself. She rubbed slow circles in her temples, closing her eyes. One breath at a time. One task at a time. If they made it home safely last night, then they made it home. No amount of worrying today would change what happened yesterday.

She finished the incident report.

She dusted the bookshelves again.

She started scrubbing the damn wall.

And the door opened. They were loud and obnoxious, like they usually were, but today they seemed more tired than anything. She dropped the rag onto the floor and marched over to Vincent, who started muttering as soon as he saw where she was headed. She made sure his arms were fine before grabbing him to rotate the soldier, searching for injuries. He was fine. Gabriel put his hands up when her eyes fell on him, “No injuries here, Kristina’s fine too, but Eugen got shot.”

Eugen had hung back, and she slinked passed the other two men to get closer. “It’s nothing really; I just got nicked. Some demon with a sword came out of nowhere and knocked the guy’s aim off.” As he spoke, he tossed his jacket on the floor and unbuttoned the top of his shirt, shrugging his arm out.

Victoria’s finger traced the edge of the bandage, which had been wrapped firmly around his upper arm. No blood had leaked through. “Tell me exactly what happened after I left.”

He sighed, shrugging the shirt back on “I went to Captain Hewitt, as ordered. He had orders not to engage the shooters, but he knew how important it was to find the Dreyfus girls. So, he came with me just in case things went sideways.” As he spoke, he finished buttoning the shirt and put the jacket back over his shoulders.

“We’d made some good progress into the district, and we didn't realize how close we were to the shooting. We weren’t careful enough; we ended up having to defend ourselves from the enemy and Captain Hewitt went down. It took everything I had just to stay alive and then some soldier from the Survey Corps swooped in and threw him off his aim. He ended up cutting the guy in half.”

Victoria was sure her heart had stopped. _Of course, Julian went and got himself killed. Fucking idiot._ Eugen grimaced, looking away from her, “Captain Hewitt’s alive by the way – the Survey Corps soldier carried him to the infirmary. His condition was stable before I left last night. You should probably go check on him though.”

She wanted to march out the door. She wanted to go find him and tell him exactly how much of an idiot she thought he was. But her job didn’t stop just because her stupid boyfriend had gotten himself shot.

“No, I’ll go check on him tonight. Line up everyone, it’s going to be a long day.”

* * *

In the days that followed the massacre, a heavy gloom fell over the barracks. Speculations lay around every corner, ranging from probable to far-fetched. _Someone saw something they shouldn’t have. We interfered with a gang war. Members of the first interior police were in those uniforms._ The threat hadn’t been identified, but the regiment had a firm belief that justice would be served. Victoria wasn’t so sure. There seemed to be more of an emphasis on covering up, rather than investigating. 

The Dreyfus girls were returned to their family, although it was unclear why. “An act of god.” Mr. Dreyfus had told her. His face was worn, eyes heavy from lack of sleep, but he’d pulled his daughters closer to his chest as though that alone would keep them safe. Neither he, nor Mrs. Dreyfus were willing to continue being helpful in the investigation, and as far as Victoria’s commanding officer was concerned, there was no need for further investigation. The girls were returned to their home unharmed, and every day new cases deserving of the MP’s attention were cropping up. The Dreyfus case was no longer vital.

And in the wake of the madness the massacre had instilled, Victoria was surprised to see her transfer request had successfully cleared. A group of Military police were being transferred from the northern branch of Wall Sina to replace the lives lost, and with them came a new addition to her squad. The title of Captain would be passed on to her Lieutenant.

She was given two weeks to ready her possessions as discreetly as possible and ordered to remain silent to the journalists outside their doors. 

Those weeks passed quickly; Vincent shadowed her every move, and for the most part she stepped back and let him take the reins. He was grateful that she was there for any questions that he had, and she was grateful that with half the workload, she was able to spend more time at home.

She spent most of that extra time with Julian. The first visit to the infirmary, she was terrified to see him lying there so broken. The bandage was pressed into his torso, stained pink on his right side. His smile was tired, but his eyes were so bright, and he was just happy she was safe. But he hadn’t been broken then; that came days later, after he had been cleared to go home.

It was her day off, and they’d had a nice dinner, drank some wine her mother had sent over. She’d told him that her transfer request had gone through. He didn’t look at her, didn’t say anything. She tried to tell him she’d be alright, and he pulled her into a hug. He held her so tightly, body shaking with grief as he cried. She tried not to - she had signed up for this. What right did she have to cry? _I did this._

The crying turned into passionate kissing. All teeth and tongue and pain. The doctor had warned them no sex for another week, but Julian didn’t give a damn. Victoria gave half a damn. She forced herself on top of him, ignoring his frustrated huff. In any other instance, she probably would have laughed to see him so distraught to bottom, but now she was just focused on getting as close to him as possible.

Any free time without Julian was spent selling items she knew wouldn’t be necessary for the Scouting Regiment. Only a few sentimental items were spared. A cream-colored, cracked tea pot her mother had gifted her upon entrance of the Training Corps. The delicate silver ring her brother had spent months saving up for. A necklace that matched it so well that when Julian had given it to her, only days before she would leave for Wall Maria, she’d kissed him so hard it nearly knocked them both over. And copious amounts of alcohol. That wasn’t sentimental, but she knew she’d need it.

The last night her squad showed up at her door, armed with far too much food and a couple bottles of whiskey. Vincent, already drunk, declared they were the fierce gatekeepers she would need to pass to leave Wall Sina. She chastised them of course. She couldn’t drink with her subordinates. But she let them inside.

She found herself curled up with Julian as the other’s seated themselves at her small, circular table. They ate and joked, and as the sky darkened, she winked at them, declaring it was close enough to morning. The five drunk bastards – they weren’t Julian’s brats- roared with approval as she raised the bottle of whiskey to her lips.

They started playing drinking games and hours later Victoria was so drunk that she was forgetting things. Which is how she found herself pretending that she had put the green man down before she drank, when she very clearly had not. She'd even muttered, "Oh shit!" as she realized. 

Vincent stood, waving his finger between her and the shot.

“NooooOOOOoooo.” 

“Julian!”

“She’s lying, I saw her.” Her boyfriend said, shaking his head. His gorgeous, glorious head. She ran her fingers through his brown hair, accidently stabbing his ear with her finger. He smiled at her, and she gave a dopey smile in return. Blue eyes burned into green and she melted back into his lap.

“She’s gonna blackout if she keeps going.” Her savior warned them, arm curling around her waist.

That sounded like a challenge. Without hesitation, she reached forward, whiskey splashing out onto her hand and knocked back the shot. A cheer resounded around the table.

* * *

She woke up at the ass crack of dawn. A hand was stroking her face, and sweet murmurs filled ears as he told her he had to get up. His arm was tucked under her head and her leg was sprawled over his.

She got up with him, and they took a shower. They got dressed together, talking about mundane things. None of it mattered; she just wanted to hear his voice. When he left, she went with him. They got breakfast and spent the morning together. He worked on paperwork and she sat in the chair in front of his desk, listening to him talk about some lord that wasn't paying his taxes. 

A couple hours passed, and she knew that it was time to leave. The Scout Regiment had arranged for a carriage to take her to Wall Maria, and it was a five day journey. She would need to return to her office so that the coachman could locate her. 

She was excited. After all, she'd waited six years for this day, but a part of her - a very small part- would miss the life she had here. 


	4. Chapter 4

The ride to Wall Maria was a necessary evil but after five days, that didn’t stop Victoria from never wanting to step into a carriage again. They arrived at Scout Headquarters a few hours after dark on the fourth day. It was difficult to make out many details of the imposing structures in the dark, but she figured that the largest one would be where she was needed at present. Upon the success of her transfer request, she had been provided a rough map of each building as well as instructions. She was relatively confident she could find the Commander’s office.

After exiting the carriage, she took a moment to relish in being on her feet again. She stretched her aching shoulders, a pleasing ‘pop!’ ringing out into the night. Then, she followed the lantern light of the largest building and pushed open one of the double doors.

The foyer was quiet; most of the Scouts had likely gone to sleep already. It was well lit, but otherwise a bit of a culture shock. She couldn’t call the place dingy – it was oddly clean- but the stones had certainly seen better days. Her old headquarters was filled with pretty trinkets and expensive furniture, but there wasn’t much to be seen here. It was sparse, with only a couple tables that she doubted saw much use.

A man with dark hair sat in a chair at one of them. He quickly looked away, but his eyes shot back just as fast, narrowing in on her upper body. More specifically, the straps of her pack.

“Victoria Ashford?”

“Yes.” Her tone was flat, and she eyed the flourish of pink that rose onto his freckled cheeks. It disappeared quickly.

“I’m Cadet Christof Lehmann. I’ve been ordered to escort you to the Commander’s office to report.”

As they began the trek Victoria quickly discovered that Christof Lehmann was a talker. He chattered on and on about himself as she inspected the walls and floor of the dimly lit hall. She found it strange how even and polished the floorboards were. They weren’t dirty or scratched, despite how much traffic they most likely weathered. Lehmann was fresh out of the Training Corps, and about as green a soldier as she’d ever seen. His eyes were big, excited, as he expressed how he was looking forward to his first expedition. It was set only a month away.

For a moment, those big eyes reminded her so much of her brother’s that she felt sick. Had Erik been this excited? _Rein it in Ashford._ She slammed a lid down on that line of thinking and buried it as deep inside as she dared. Idly, she spun the ring on her finger.

Interesting fucking floors though, honestly. And walls. The stones of the wall were uneven, but even the grout appeared groomed. The Scout Regiment may have been poor, but it looked like they had pride. “- huh Ashford?”

“What?”

Her eyes snapped onto the cadet’s face, where his smile had faltered. He said again, a little half-heartedly, “You’re pretty lucky to have been transferred so close to an expedition. The Survey Corps only gets approved for them once every year or two… are you looking forward to it?”

Was she looking forward to fighting for her life against creatures ranging from five to ten times her size? She nearly made a sarcastic comment, but bit her tongue, “Sure.” God what she wouldn’t give to throw herself onto a bed right about now.

He seemed pleased with that response and continued his chatter up the stairway and across another hall. Occasionally, his questions would prompt comment, but for the most part the kid was having a conversation with himself. She didn’t mind. The long ride had taken a lot of energy out of her.

She was relieved when they finally reached the office, and Lehmann knocked on the door. “Cadet Christof Lehmann reporting with Victoria Ashford sir.”

“Come in.”

The Commander’s office was better lit than the hall, the furniture of the room casting long shadows over the hardwood. It was bare of anything that wasn’t strictly a necessity. The Commander was sitting at his desk, much like the last time they met. It wasn’t as pristine as his temporary desk had been, but at first glance there appeared to be a method of organization. Those hollowed eyes bore into her as she crossed the room and stiffly saluted, “Sit down.”

She did as he instructed, back rigid and hands carefully clasped.

Commander Shadis leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. His lip curled. “I’ll be blunt with you Ashford, I think you’re more trouble than you’re worth. You’ve been picking daisies in the capitol too damn long to be an effective soldier.” His eyes narrowed, “Over the next several days, you will be tested on your competence in hand-to-hand, omni-dimensional, and written skills. We will not go easy on you. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”

“Deputy Commander Erwin Smith will oversee your progress. You are to report to him at Training Field 3 first thing after breakfast tomorrow for your hand-to-hand examination. Cadet Lehmann will escort you to the barracks.” The commander stopped talking, instead peering down at the paperwork on his desk. He angrily scribbled something on the top paper, and Victoria sat quietly, staring at him. Then almost as an afterthought, “Dismissed Ashford.”

She stood silently and left, Lehmann at her side. He seemed more comfortable now that they weren’t in the Commander’s presence. There was a small smile on his face as he gestured for her to follow him back the way they’d come. “The Deputy Commander’s office is across the hall from the Commander’s. You won’t have to worry too much about finding Training Field 3; it’s off to the left side of the barracks. It’s usually empty first thing in the morning so that’s a pretty good indicator.”

“Thanks Lehmann.”

He nodded, “It’s not a problem. Hey, did they tell you who you were fighting?” His tone almost gave her pause. He sounded vaguely concerned.

“No. Should they have?”

She glanced at him through the corner of her eye, a faint pink had risen onto his cheeks. “N-No. Well, maybe. They want you to fight Levi.” He lowered his voice as he said it, like he’d summon this ‘Levi’ character. She was unfamiliar with the name; Lehmann seemed to notice. “He’s only been in the Corps for a year, but he’s already got the second highest kill count.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not a titan then. Might give me an edge.” Her voice was flat.

“Well that’s the thing, he’s kind of well-known around here for hand-to-hand too.” He paused, “And he’s not afraid to hurt a recruit. When you go down, it’d be a good idea to stay down.”

She bristled, a little annoyed by the well-meaning cadet. She didn’t appreciate being underestimated. “Noted.”

Lehmann caught on to her annoyance, and the subject was dropped. He led them outside, starting down the road toward the second largest building. “This is the barracks. The West Wing is where the women sleep. Standardly, we bunk four to a room, but you’ll have one bunkmate until the new batch of cadets arrive.”

He continued talking, even telling her about on-base housing options for married couples. Like that mattered. Idly, she observed the floors. They weren’t terribly filthy, but there were dusty footprints marking up the hall. It certainly wasn’t polished, as the other hall had been. She turned her attention to the wall, noting that they didn’t look as clean and the grout didn’t have upkeep. They must clean on rotation, and the other building was freshly done.

They arrived at her new room and Lehmann left, wishing her a good night. Her bunkmate was snoring away on one of the top bunks. She set her pack down heavily on the bottom, deftly unbuttoning her uniform and folding it. Getting ready for bed passed in a blur, and she was relieved to finally crawl into bed.

* * *

The wake-up call bellowed in her ears, jolting her from sleep. There was groaning and muttered curses above her. Drowsily, she pushed herself up to sit and riffled through her bag. She had a few uniforms inside. She dressed quickly, visualizing the map so she could track down the mess hall.

“Um… hello?”

Victoria paused, following the voice to the top bunk. A woman with dark brown hair in a messy ponytail was staring at her bleary eyed. She was still under her covers and rubbing the back of her palm against one of her eyes. She had a strange looking pair of glasses in one hand.

Victoria tipped her chin up, “Hello.”

“You’re my new bunkmate?”

She thought that was fairly obvious. She just raised an eyebrow.

A wide grin edged its way onto the woman’s face, and she secured her glasses onto her face. There were straps attached that wrapped around her head. “Well well bunkmate! Good morning! I’m Hanji Zoë, and who might you be?” as she spoke, she had jumped down from the bed, ignoring the ladder. She was still dressed in her uniform from the day before.

The woman was examining her like she was a chess piece she hadn’t decided the shape of, “I’m Victoria Ashford.”

Hanji Zoë positively beamed, looping their arms and dragging her toward the door. “The Military Police lady? OhHoHo, no one said you’d be bunking with me.”

Victoria was stunned. So much so that she allowed herself to be dragged out of the door before she braced herself and pulled her weight toward her heels. The other woman seemed surprised when she couldn’t continue dragging her, and another wild grin stretched across her face. “Where do you think you’re taking me?” Victoria demanded, ignoring the slightly demented smile.

“Why the mess hall of course. Don’t be a silly.” Zoë made a show of imitating a stoic expression with a raised eyebrow. She even popped her hip back and leaned a hand against it. _Is she mimicking me? I don’t stand like that._

“I don’t need your help finding it.” Victoria countered a bit rudely. She wasn’t impressed by the messy woman wearing a wrinkled uniform from the day before.

Zoë appeared delighted, and rather forcefully jerked her forward. “Well we’re bunkmates now; It’s only right I show you a good time.”

Victoria was perturbed but relented. She had bigger things to worry about than fighting with her new bunkmate. Like fighting that Levi guy. The fearful reverence Cadet Lehmann had said his name with somewhat concerned her now that she had had a night to sleep on it. She didn’t know what the stipulations for passing the test were, or if they were rigging it so that she couldn’t pass.

She didn’t even know what would happen if she didn’t pass. Would they deem her ineffective and send her out on the next wagon? Would she be sent back to the Training Corps, to be retrained at whatever level they perceived her to be at? Or would it just be a couple months of additional training, and a possibility to be held back from the expedition?

The laughter Zoë exuded from beside her was somewhat concerning. “You worrying about the fight Victoria? Oh don’t look at me like that, _everyone_ knows about it. We don’t get transfers from the MPs every day! Actually, we’ve never had one. Isn’t that fascinating?” Not particularly, Victoria almost told her, but kept her mouth shut.

Zoë continued gleefully, “And you get to fight Levi!” was that a blissful sigh? “Hey if you die, can I examine your corpse? That man’s strength isn’t human, I wouldn’t mind a few samples- oh don’t look so glum. Brighten up! I’m sure you’ll be fine!” there was something sadistic about the woman’s face while she drank in Victoria’s expression.

 _It’ll be fine Ashford._ If strength was the issue, she might even have an advantage. She was short and fast; larger people tended to underestimate her. “I’m sure I will be.”

Zoë continued chattering as they made it into the mess hall and went down the line. She chose a secluded corner and the other woman followed.

She quickly discovered that Hanji Zoë, while possibly a lunatic, was a very interesting person to listen to. She’d started going on a tangent comparing Titan anatomy to human anatomy while they’d still been in line, prompting Victoria to correct her about the usefulness of extensor carpi ulnaris.

Zoë then explained that it was bad phrasing, not lack of knowledge that had prompted the mistake. By the time they reached a secluded table the two were in a heated discussion about titan muscles and nerves.

Victoria shoved oats in her mouth, intent on Hanji as the woman flipped her shit about how many ligaments they had and how those ligaments showed signs of differing in a Titan’s body than a human’s.

By the time the food was finished, and people were beginning to clear out, Victoria had warmed toward the woman ever so slightly. She made a silent vow to batter the need for cleanliness into her while they remained bunkmates.

Her hands started tingling with nerves as she located Area 3. It was supposed to be unused this time of day, but a small crowd had developed. Some were talking about the upcoming fight already, others leered at her as her eyes scanned them. It seemed a lot of people showed up to watch the MP fight their resident hero. She spotted a familiar blond head amongst the crowd. Deputy Commander Erwin Smith.

He was standing in the middle of a smaller group of people. Someone nodded a head her way as she approached, and Smith turned toward her. His tall figure hulked over her, “Victoria Ashford reporting sir.” She saluted, staring at him expectantly.

She heard a scoff, and her eyes darted toward the sound. She was vaguely surprised to see another familiar face standing cross armed behind Smith. The man with the black hair in an undercut. He was small enough that he’d been nearly hidden behind Smith. His expression was flat, making the Deputy Commander appear emotive in comparison. She didn’t know his name, or even if he was of consequence, but something about him made her hair stand on end.

“At ease recruit.” She clasped her hands behind her back, eyes on Smith. She kept her face carefully blank, despite her apprehension. “Today, you’ll be participating in a test of skill, as I’m sure you’re already aware. Levi will be your opponent.” He gestured toward the man with the undercut. He was still staring flatly. Victoria felt goosebumps rise on her skin. “Your mission is to stay conscious for three minutes. If Levi knocks you out before that time elapses, you lose.” 

“Yes sir.”

“Well then, let’s get started.”

Levi’s back was already to her as he walked toward an open area. She took a moment to observe their surroundings as she joined him. The ground was all packed dirt and didn’t look terribly uneven anywhere. A few wooden chairs had been set out – three behind her, two to either side, six behind Levi. There was light glinting off a knife lying on the chair to her left. The small crowd of soldiers stood a couple feet behind that.

Zoë said this Levi’s strength was inhuman, so she hadn’t expected him to be so short. He looked lean, but not overly muscular. He was likely fast, like her. His eyes ever strayed from her center, so she couldn’t get a read on what he might do first. She also couldn’t rule out the possibility of him being armed.

Victoria sank into a fighting stance. He mirrored it. Her heart started racing.

Smith began talking, but she didn’t take her eyes off Levi, “Time begins in three, two, one. Now.”

He was on her in an instant. His hand struck out in a punch that she barely countered. She rolled his arm over her shoulder and attempted one of her own. His block was effortless. It went on like that for a while. He was fast and effective. It was taking everything in her just to keep him from landing a hit. She didn’t have time to go on the offensive. He dropped, and she jumped just in time to miss his leg kicking out for her.

She landed in a flip, forced to fall to her knees to narrowly avoid his fist again. Her elbow lodged into his gut, followed by a swift kick that pushed him backwards. She quickly backed away, the hand behind her latching onto a chair and smashing it forward just in time to hit him.

His momentum carried him through, his weight smashing into her gut. She fell hard, head slamming into the ground. Her vision went black for a moment. She tasted blood. His weight settled on her hips, and hands grasped her neck. Levi was glaring above her; his grip was bruising.

She wrapped a hand around his wrist, the other locking around the back of his arm. He snarled, pushing harder. She couldn’t breathe. Her chest burned. The talking of the crowd quieted as the blood rushing in her ears got louder. She put her foot over his, jerking up with her hips. She heaved, using his weight against him to roll them. She was on top now. 

She had to win. She needed to win. She grabbed his hair and slammed his head in the ground. His hand shot out quick as a snake, but she expected it. She expected him to be fast. She narrowly dodged, biting his forearm. His skin tasted like dirt and sweat. His eyes glaring loathingly up at her. She ignored his snarl and smashed his head into the ground again. Once, twice, four times. Then pushed herself up and ran for the chair she’d seen the knife on.

His weight crashed into her again. She managed to twist onto her side as she hit the ground. Her hip throbbed, her hands burned. They grappled, but it was no use. His hands latched onto her arm, twisting it behind her back. His weight settled onto her hips and he forced her face into the ground. The dirt pushed into her mouth, souring her with the taste once again. She sneered at him, trying to jerk back up. He twisted her arm further. She snarled. He'd regret that. “Stay down rookie.”

Hissing, she managed to worm her legs up into her torso. When she tried to flip them, he moved so quickly she wasn’t sure what happened. Her vision swam. She was on her back again. His knees dug under her armpits. Something slammed into her face, and everything went black.


End file.
